Within Radiant Garden

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:56 pm

"No," he told himself again in his dream. There was no one around. In his dreams, there was never anyone around. It was just Roxas. "No, no.. I can't." He imagined that he was no better than a child who got lost in the woods and couldn't find their way out. "I can't. Darkness... no! I'm... I can't... reach the Light!"

You're so pathetic, he told himself over and over again. Can't break free, can you? Why, when it's just so simple. LET. GO. Darkness won't provide anything else, so stop trying to hold on to the Darkness so much. And yet...

"Roxas," he heard a voice call. But... I never have dreams about anyone... I'm always alone. For a moment, Roxas was scared. He didn't want normal. He didn't want to change. Darkness and fear was all he knew. He needed that.

"No!" he bellowed back to the person who called him from the Light. "No! Don't waste your time in saving me! No one can. No one can save me from... me!!" Still, the voice called. "Roxas, it's me. Wake up, Roxas."

"NOT ME!" Roxas begged in his dream. "Anyone but me! I..I'm not capable of love like Sora, and I'm not strong like Riku, or creative like Namine!" He covered his eyes. "I'm no one, you hear me?! No one! A Nobody!" He'd heard it so many times that Roxas couldn't do much but believe it. "Nobodies can't love! Nobodies... have no HEARTS! Nobodies..." Struggling to hold his own, he clutched his shirt over the place where his heart should be. "Nobodies don't have a right... to even... be!"

Roxas...Roxas...
It's his voice, he thought, as Roxas opened his eyes and looked to see who was trying to wake him up. He could see a pair of aqua-teal eyes staring back at him, and feel a pair of strong arms tightly embracing him.

"Roxas," Riku whispered quietly to the boy with hair colored with rays from the sun. Quietly, as Roxas begun to mumble and cry in his sleep, Riku had calmly laid down beside Roxas and wrapped his arms around him. Sometimes, when Sora was younger, Riku would fall asleep beside Sora with his arms around him when the brunette was too scared to fall asleep during a thunder storm. Secretly, Riku was just as scared of the storm as Sora was, but Riku didn't want Sora to know that.

Anxiously, and a bit taken by surprise, Roxas quickly pulled away from Riku's grip and sat up, wondering just how long Riku had been there. Riku sat up as soon as he did and put his hand on his shoulder. "Shh, Roxas..." he told him, as Riku breathed in and tried to find a way to calm Roxas. "It's okay, Roxas. You're alright. Darkness... can only reach you in your dreams now."

You know then? You know everything, I guess. You know that I'm scared. You're scared too?

Reading his thoughts, Riku nodded solemnly. "Darkness will do that," Riku responded with a hint of sadness. "It can invade your thoughts, your dreams..." Affectionately he ran his fingers through Roxas' hair, humming for a moment. "Be strong, Roxas." Roxas didn't dare nod his head. He didn't think he could. Instead he focused his eyes to something on the side to dart away from Riku's view.

"Don't be ashamed." It practically killed Riku. I could tell him... no. Not now. I don't want him to worry about me. "It takes time, Roxas. A lot of time. And small steps. But you'll be fine. You can be free."

"I don't know..." Roxas' voice hinted not only skepticism but resistance. It pained Riku to know just how Roxas felt. He and I are almost exactly the same...
"Would it be fair?"

Riku paused. "What do you mean?" The scar, he though. My scar. I still have it, Roxas. But your scars...

"It wouldn't be fair," he told Riku directly. "I don't consider myself a good person. I've never done anything good." Without another word, Roxas pushed Riku back away from him, got up, and left the room. Inside the bathroom, Roxas splashed icy-cold water on his face and sighed.

Instinctively, Roxas slid his hand down his arm, feeling the ridges of his scarred arm. It was amazing how some people could miss the smallest things sometimes. Telling people that his arms got scarred from skateboarding had convinced everyone that Roxas was clumsy and reckless. Especially since Roxas had become a lot better about lying.

After relieving himself, Roxas went back into Riku's room and put on his clothes for the day. "Are you leaving already?" Riku asked, sounding maybe just a bit too sad about it. It seemed like Roxas was ducking out as soon as Riku had found a chance to talk to him. "Yeah," he told Riku. "I gotta get home and shower. I have homework and other stuff to do today."

Riku listened, then nodded quietly. "Sora will be upset that you left without telling him goodbye," he said aloud, wondering if maybe he was just saying that in hopes that Roxas would change his mind and stay. "Heh," Roxas shrugged. "That's Sora for you." Before putting on his shoes, Roxas turned and smiled at Riku. "Nice seeing you, Riku." Smiling, Riku returned his goodbye with a nod. "Have a good day Roxas. Call me if you get the chance." With his shoes on, Roxas left the room, and Riku felt himself get a little disappointed as he heard the door open then slam shut.

Sighing, he looked at Sora. "And I thought you were high-maintenance."

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Tue Feb 24, 2009 12:29 pm

(Idk what to do Roxas. Help me please.)

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:54 pm

[[I'll try to make this funny and actually good without failing. But failing is what i do best :3 Im assuming Riku is sitting on the bed next to Sora. Sooo. Its not goona change x3]]

It all started with a...need. The need to protect and to comfort. Sora sat in a field of golden grass, the wind blowing gently through it causing it to ripple. The reflection of the sun against the grass was almost blinding to the small brunet as he brought his hand up, shading his eyes against the glare. As he did so something caught his attention in the distance, not something....rather someone. Someone very familiar and important to him. Sora let his hand drop to his side as he ran towards the figure. "Roxas!" He called out the blonds name hoping that he would hear him. How could he not they were in a wide open field after all. The blond didn't respond continuing to walk away from Sora, his back facing him. D-dont ignore me! Sora thought blue eyes widening as he ran to catch up. He stumbled over himself nearly falling but regained himself. Still the blond didnt seem any closer and was gradually disappearing into the glow ahead of him. His figure became blurred and in-distinct. "Roxas Please! Don't leave me." Sora shouted once more, tears threatening to spill from the corner of his eyes as water gathered there. The blond came to a halt, stopping in his tracks but didn't turn to face Sora. The small brunet didn't mind though as long as he could reach his cousin now. As long as he could hold him and know he wasn't going to vanish again. Sora ran for all he was worth till he reached his cousin, grabbing the blond from behind tightly "Y-you....dummy! why do you always run away!" He cried into his back, tightening his grip.

But really, He was gripping onto the back of Riku's shirt, soaking his tears into it. "Why...Why Do you always do that?!" He cryed again still talking in his sleep. He starting hitting Rikus back lightly with his fists in frustration. Roxas seemed to ignore him in his dream and then started to walk forwards without saying a word. "NO!! COME BACK!!!!!" Sora yelled gripping Riku even tighter.

[okay Roxas give me ideas as to what should be in Sora's dream in a PM then I'll do this k? XD]

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:24 am

[-There Sora, a little helper. Now write the rest. You should be able to now-]

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:15 pm

[lol sorry it took so long >_< And I only added a little >__> Thank you so much Riku for the help! ^-^ Next time I promise ill do it on my own.]

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:48 pm

[-I apologize for its shortness. I couldnt think of anything else to write >_<-]

Riku stared off after the blond long after he had disappeared and the door had announced his exit with its slamming shut. It was obvious that Roxas didnt want comfort, wanting to bear the full burden of how he felt. Riku wouldn't allow it though.

I wont give up..he thought, knowing that Roxas needed his friends even if he didnt seem like he did. He needed someone there to support him and pick him up when he fell. His train of thought broke off at the sudden movement behind him and before the silver haired boy knew it Sora was clinging to his shirt sobbing. he could feel the tears of the other boy soaking into his shirt as his aquamarine eyes opened wide in alarm.

"Why....Why do you always do that?!" Sora cried into his back confusing Riku as he turned to the brunet clinging to his back.

Do what? He thought worry creasing his brow as he watched Sora's distressed face. Moments later Sora had another outburst squeezing Riku even more tightly. He needed to wake up.

"Sora! Sora you're dreaming. Its okay. I'm here." he said trying to comfort the younger boy as best as he could. It was difficult since the small brunet was clinging to the back of his shirt, hands bunched into the cloth in a death grip. After some work Riku managed to pull Sora free, shifting the boy in front of him as he cradled him in a hug.

He spoke comfortingly to him, hoping that Sora could hear him in whatever hellish dream he was stuck in. He rubbed soothing circles into Sora's back as he held him close, feeling the younger boys frame shake from his sobbing. Riku wondered just what Sora was dreaming about that it had him so broken and in tears while in his sleep. He couldn't do anything but hold him and comfort him, hoping he'd wake up soon and escape from whatever darkness was causing him grief.

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Sat Mar 14, 2009 4:09 pm

[ROXAS REPSONDDD NOW XD]

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Fri May 01, 2009 2:44 pm

Stepping on to the training and listening to the buzzing commotion all around him, Roxas wondered why he didn't take the train more often. Somehow, the murmurs and the commotion of other people settled Roxas' nerves and made him feel at peace, even though there was no one around to engage in a conversation with. He plopped down in a seat by the window, hoping that no one else would sit next to him, but soon an older-looking man took the seat beside him. He sighed and dug his iPod out, carefully unwrapping his earphones and placing them in his ear, then turning on his music just a little too loud, which was the only way Roxas listened to his music. As the train began to move, it occurred to him why he didn't use the train more often; simply, Roxas had no one to meet up with or anywhere else to go, other than around Twilight Town. He chuckled internally.

Roxas' Agenda
Wake Up
Pee
Eat Breakfast
Go to School
Come Home
Do Homework
Skateboard
Call Sora
Hang up on Sora when he becomes upset
Text Riku
Get a call from Riku
End call with Riku
Go to Sunset Hill
Leave Sunset Hill
Take a shower
Read
Go to Sleep
Repeat, over and over again, until it all becomes too redundant for Roxas to care

I never do anything, do I? He ran his hands down his jeans, sighing with a sad smile on his face. Maybe then all of this is my fault. because I hide away so much? Do I deserve this, then...?

That's a lie. Don't believe it, Roxas.

Believe it or not, but Roxas had a conscience. He adjusted himself in his seat and thought about that again. Imagining what his friends would say somehow made him feel better, as though they were there, cheering him on.

I just think you're plain stupid for not telling me why you're upset.

Two can play that game, he mused to himself, as he went on with this mental argument he was having with Sora. Even though Sora wasn't actually there. You wouldn't understand if it hit you in the face, you idiot. Even though he was, in essence, talking to himself, Roxas found that his voice in his mind wasn't nearly as fierce or as defensive as Sora's. It sounded weak to him. Hopeless.

What wouldn't I understand?

Roxas did have to admit, his problems did seem pretty ridiculous when he thought about them. But he wouldn't admit that to himself. Because you're Sora. You're the most optimistic person I know. Everyone loves you... and besides, have you ever thought any less of yourself, ever?

He didn't expect the answer.

But you're the one who made me so strong, Roxas.

"That's a lie," he said out loud to himself, feeling himself suddenly become light-headed and dizzy. Sora, anything less than... Sora? Every inch of him was untouched, pure, and just... what Darkness could linger? It was impossible. Sora was perfect. And Roxas was not.

He turned up the volume on his iPod, and relaxed back into his seat. He didn't notice, but suddenly the words from the song came pouring into his ears, and he finally understood what they said.

Let Go, just Let Go
Jump In
Oh what are you waiting for?
It's alright.
'Cause there's beauty in the Breakdown....

Let. Go. It said. Looking out the window, he looked up at the sky and imagine himself finally lifting his hands up and grasping on to the clouds, and pulling himself out of the imaginary abyss in which he made his home. Sora, his mind said. Heaven.

Heaven.

Heaven's a long way to go from heck.

It wasn't until he let out a breath of relief, feeling himself finally feel better for the first time in forever, when Roxas realized that had long ago missed his stop for Twilight Town.

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Fri May 01, 2009 2:50 pm

[ ily R O X A S xDDD] <33 [nice avatar!]

Subject: Re: Within Radiant Garden Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:51 am

Second time in a row I've hacked Sora's account. This is looking pretty bleak actually. I seem to be the only one juggling these threads. C'mon guys! Step up the game or we'll never get a roll on this on!!

-Roxas
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"Roxas?"

The small voice echoed throughout the room as Sora walked over to Roxas. From the other room both of the boys could hear everyone cheering and loudly praising whatever was happening in the game now. Roxas hadn't been at the party for more than an hour and he was already trying to take off. Sora tried to rack his mind of something Riku-like that could get Roxas to stay instead of running off, especially when Sora wanted everyone including Roxas to have fun at his party.

Roxas looked at Sora, then looked away.

No! Everytime you do that it means you're thinking of a way out again. Stop that, Roxas! Just stay with us!!!

"I have homework to do," he heard Roxas lie as he avoided Sora's stare, and it seemed somehow that Roxas had gotten even closer to Sora's front door in a matter of a few seconds.

"Please stay Roxas." Don't you DARE leave me again!!

"Sora," Roxas whined, "I can't stay. I'm just -- I have to go."

"Why?!"

Sora's voice rang throughout the room. Sora's friends in the other room might hear him raising his voice, growing angrier and just a little more upset. "Sora, don't yell at me," he barked back in a hushed voice. Even though he sounded angry Sora could see that conflicted, pained look Roxas always had. "You're being such a baby, you know that??"

"Why?! Why do you always do that?!"

Sora! Sora you're dreaming. Its okay. I'm here....

"Do what?" Roxas' eyes furrowed at him with a glare.

Sora closed the empty space between them and grabbed Roxas by the soulders in a grip that promised to never let go. "You always push me away, Roxas!! You never tell me what's wrong!!! You can tell me why, Roxas!! Why are you always so sad?? Please trust me Roxas; please tell me why you're always running away and never telling me what's wrong!!"

He whinced from Sora's fingers digging into him. Sora felt Roxas slip through his fingers, eyes steams with tears, and he shook his head in refusal. "No! No one would ever understand! Especially not you, Sora!!"

ROXAS!!!!! PLEEEEEASE!!!!!!

"LET ME GO, SORA!!" Sora was pushed away and Roxas was disappearing. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

DON'T GO, ROXAS!! DON'T GO!!!!!!

Something was coming into view, but it was hard to tell, because Sora's eyes was blurry and something wet and salty was all over his face...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sora felt something lovingly massage his back, and only after a few long, brief seconds did he realize that he couldn't breathe. He hiccupped and dug his head into whatever was holding him now --

"Sora...."

Riku...? Oh yeah. I slept over at Riku's house...

"Sora?" Riku, patient and gently, waited for Sora to say something. Even boggled down with sleep Sora could tell Riku was worried but his voice was still calm and firm just the way he always was. He took a few breathes before he tried to reply.

"Yeah," was all Sora could muster with small, hoarse voice. He felt Riku gently run his fingers through his now messy chocolate-brown hair. He looked over and noticed that something was missing...

Roxas left without say goodbye again...... Sora sniffled.

"Roxas will be okay..." Riku hummed in his ear, but he sounded as sad as Sora felt.
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