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 part of my story....hope its liked...

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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

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Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: part of my story....hope its liked...   Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:18 pm

The boy leaned back against the tree with a smile that was slight yet definitely there. The smile that had made him famous. His bright blue eyes sparkled with a light that made him look wise beyond his years. A bright light flashed as the women behind the camera took his picture.
“Okay Stefan that was great. Now, bring your legs up and rest your head there.” The woman said as she adjusted the camera to his new position.
Stefan leaned forward crossing his legs and bringing his arms around them all in one swift fluid motion. He flipped his shaggy blonde hair and rested his chin right on the spot where his knees came together. He had a look in his eyes of almost sadness yet it was as if he were reliving a wonderful memory somewhere deep in his heart as he smiled.
After that picture was through there were many nods of agreement and comments about his future as a model. Then he was done. Free for the rest of the day to do whatever he desired.
He stepped off the curb and into the street his crisp white shirt reflecting the sunlight that was filtering down through the trees. He smiled as he walked across the street not really paying much attention to his surroundings when he saw her. She was down the street a little ways from him, her strawberry blonde hair glowing in the sunlight almost as if it were alive. She was thin, yet attractive, unlike any girl he had ever seen. She was walking slowly as if she had no particular place to be and didn’t really care to have one.
All this was running through his mind when he suddenly felt himself bump into someone on the street. He was jerked back to reality turning his head away from her to apologize to whomever he had just run into.
“I’m so sorry!” He exclaimed while turning his head to meet whoever this person was.
“Oh my gosh!” a young girl of thirteen squeaked in excitement. “You’re Stefan Radiagn! The model! Can I please have your autograph?! Please?” She hurriedly asked as she begins to rifle through her bag soon pulling out a pen and notebook.
Stefan smiled. Somewhat embarrassed at this sort of attention, glad this one girls shrieks weren’t attracting more attention than a few awkward glances. “Umm...sure.” He said while blushing and taking the pen and notebook. “What’s your name?”
“Oh! How silly of me!” The girl squeaked again, almost louder than before. “It’s Elena!”
“Thanks.” Stefan replied while he signed the sheet of paper. He handed it back to her and was given several hugs before she finally departed to show her friends what she had just obtained. He shook his head as he turned it back to the place where the thin strawberry blonde girl had been only a few minuets before. Except…now she was gone.
Stefan walked down his side of the street a little so that he stood across the street from where the girl had stood. He glanced down the street she had walked down. He barely saw the back of her turning the corner. He knew she was to far away to catch up to her and he highly doubted she would answer her if he called out “Hey! Girl down the street! Turn around your beautiful! What’s your name?!” He turned himself around and continued walking in his original direction ignoring anyone who commented on him being a model or anything else. The only thing on his mind was the girl. She was the only thing on his mind the rest of the day. Her presence was even in his dreams.
He dreamt that he was walking, just walking with no clear reason of why or where to when she would saunter past him. He let her get a few steps ahead of him before he would reach out to stop her from walking; to stop her from leaving him forever. But as soon as his fingertips would come to rest on her delicate shoulder she would disappear, leaving him in utter sadness only wanting her to return.
A week had passed since he had gotten his glimpse of that mysterious girl. She was still all he could think about. No matter what was on his mind let it be food to cars she would always find a way to enter his thoughts and not wanting to leave. Every time he walked through town he kept his eyes open for her. But always to no avail. She never appeared when he wanted and finally after torturing his feelings for that week he decided to give up. But it was exactly that giving up that lead him to her once again.
He was depressed that he wasn’t able to find her and somewhat disgusted with himself for giving up that he was walking down the street thinking of somewhere to go when for some reason he tripped over a obtrusion on the sidewalk. He looked down as he fell towards the ground and what he saw there surprised him more than anything else. It was her! The strawberry blonde! So many things were running through his mind as he felt his knees make contact with the sidewalk. He sat there for a second in shock not knowing what to say now that he had probably almost killed her with his not paying attention to his surroundings.
He looked at her. She didn’t seem to be hurt in anyway so she hadn’t been kneeling there in pain and he had obviously not injured her in anyway so he couldn’t help himself but to chuckle softly and smile at this unexpected meeting of her again. He opened his mouth to speak but she beat him to it.
“Are you okay?! You’re not hurt are you?!” She hollered while picking herself up and running to his side.

:htears:

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Shinji

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PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:30 pm

*critiquing* Nice description. 1 or 2 errors in sentence structure... 9.9/10
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:03 pm

thanks. i like that score. i also like your critiquing. no one ever wants to do it cuz there afraid i woont like it. but i do.

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Yuki

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PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:21 pm

Too cute!! Razz I loved it!
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

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Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:03 pm

thank you!! i always love it when people like my work..

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Shinji

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Male Number of posts : 179
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Age:: 18
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PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:50 pm

Would you post more?
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:10 pm

yeah. i will. i just gotta type it up first..im really slow.

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Shinji

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Male Number of posts : 179
Age : 22
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Name:: Shingi
Age:: 18
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PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Sat Jan 09, 2010 7:02 pm

Tha's okay. Waitin' is sometin I'm good at.

*thinks* yeah I'm good at waitin.
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:07 pm

lol. okay. ill try to do it as soon as i have some time. im not too good with waithing. lol. :kill:

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Shinji

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Male Number of posts : 179
Age : 22
Location : Besaid
Registration date : 2009-02-19

Character sheet
Name:: Shingi
Age:: 18
Side:: ??????

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:21 pm

lol

I might copy this down and show my friend at school. I always put when something's not mine because I usually say It's a friend's not mine.
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:05 pm

thats fine. that would actually be awesome! lol. i love it when any one reads my stuff

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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

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Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:11 pm

thats fine. that would actually be awesome! lol. i love it when any one reads my stuff

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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

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Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: more of the story!   Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:17 pm

" Oh my goodness, are you alright!?" she exclaimed as she scurried to his side.
Stefan couldn't help but laugh as he looked at her face. Until now he had only ever seen the back of her, and was totally amazed at what her face looked like. Her beautiful strawberry blonde hair framed her soft pinkish face. Her blue eyes reminded him of a clear starry night when only a few stars sparkled. when the night was just beginning. All he could do now was continue to chuckle softly at her reaction to his fall.

sorry its not alot but i had to go becuase lunch was over.....ill write more as soon as i can!! :inlove:

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Shinji

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Age:: 18
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PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:00 pm

That's good.

It's okay It's like *thinks* a Five page chapter in a long book.....

oh my god I've got to go do my homework *facepalm*
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:45 pm

thank you. ill try to do more. omg!! i have to do mine too! lol. :cold:

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Shinji

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Male Number of posts : 179
Age : 22
Location : Besaid
Registration date : 2009-02-19

Character sheet
Name:: Shingi
Age:: 18
Side:: ??????

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:32 pm

I have to read Great Expectations for english :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum:

plus there's :stress: :stress: :stress: :stress: :stress: :stress: :stress: :stress: :stress: :stress: from everything else

and I'm sick :dargsick:
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:01 pm

that stinks. i ve never read that. i dont have english until next tri sooo...yeah. lol. but i do have economis which i hate!!!! lol. bieng sick stinks. i finally got over bieng sick. :hot:

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Shinji

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Name:: Shingi
Age:: 18
Side:: ??????

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:31 pm

Well be glad you don't have to read it.
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Demyx
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Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: part of my story....hope its liked...   Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:15 pm

i am. lol. :misery:

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