Imagine the Unimaginable
 
HomeGalleryFAQSearchRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 this is another story i wrote this one is finished......i love it...and would appreiciate any kind of feed back! please...

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Demyx
Nobody
Nobody
avatar

Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: this is another story i wrote this one is finished......i love it...and would appreiciate any kind of feed back! please...   Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:23 pm

I opened the screen door, trying to avoid the places where it squeaked when you went to fast. I had just returned from collage and nobody, not even my closest sister, new of my return. As I silently stepped through the door I could hear my family’s voices drifting from the other room. There voices sounded hushed as if they were whispering but I thought nothing of it.
When I finally reached the doorway that connected the living room and the hall I opened the door and yelled “I’m home!” the looks on my family’s faces surprised me. Instead of being greeted by many exuberant hugs and kisses I was greeted by many tears and the sounds of sobs.
My mother sat in her armchair her eyes red from much sobbing. She looked up at me when I had yelled my return home and when our eyes met her head fell to her hands as she continued her sobbing. My father stood next to her trying to give her comfort but to no avail. None of my sisters even wanted to make eye contact with me and this sight is what puzzled me.
I was puzzled by this turn of events as I watched my father step towards me. He rested his arm on my shoulder and began to lead me towards the couch with my sisters. “Here, sit down.” He said as he continued to lead me towards the couch. After I took my seat he began to speak the words I had dreaded ever hearing coming from anyone’s lips. “Mandy, we have some bad news…Dustin well…he was in an accident…and well, he’s gone.” My father looked at the floor as these last words left his lips.
The words echoed in my head reaching my brain but not quite reaching my heart. “N-No!” I screamed at my father as I stood straight up every muscle in my body tense. Tears began to sting at my eyes as I push my father away. “No! You’re lying!” I took several steps away from everyone in shock. “You’ve got to be lying…”
My father replaces his hand on my shoulder once more in a final attempt to reach me. “I’m not lying. Really…he’s gone…”
But that was no help to the current state of mind I was in. I had already lost myself in my emotions and was beginning to shut myself off to the world. “You never liked him!” I yelled looking my father straight in the eyes. I knew I was hurting him but at that moment I just didn’t care. I would say anything if it meant he would still be in this world. “You never wanted him around me…and now your just lying and telling me he’s gone so he wont be!” I knocked his hand off my shoulder in my fit of rage.
The tears began to fall from my eyes more and more with each rigid breathe I brought into my body. I stormed through the crowd of people that consisted of my family towards the door. As I reached it I turned around and took one final glance at this roomful of people. I knew I was hurting them all I knew I shouldn’t leave them there. Not like this. But I couldn’t stay here.
I had to go back to where he would be. Wherever that was…I thought as I turned away from my family and left that house following wherever it was that my feet were leading me.
I heard the screen door slam behind me such unlike when I had first entered. I finally knew where I must go. The one place that belonged to only Dustin and I; The old oak tree. That’s where all my closest memories laid and I was sure he would be there if I hurried.
I slowly wiped the tears from my eyes and began to step forward. I quickly walked down the long driveway and down the path through the field below my house like I had done so many times before. All around me there were things that reminded me of Dustin. From the small spruce tree we climbed when we were little to the flowers growing by the side of the trail. Those flowers were the reason for our first kiss.
I picked one gently holding it in between my fingers like it was the most precious thing I possessed. I brought it to my nose and smelt the fragrance that laid there. And with that fragrance came the memory of our kiss.
We had decided to walk down here one day since there was a river near by. It was a hot summer day and we wanted to become cool. We were walking down the trail when he spotted these flowers. He bent down and picked and as he turned around he said how the color of these flowers, which was blue, matched my eyes so perfectly that it was almost a crime.
All I could do was blush and let a little giggle escape from between my lips for this was the first time anyone had ever said anything like this to me. Dustin leaned forward as I giggled and gently placed the flower behind my ear. And as he did so he softly whispered these words into my ear. “I love you Mandy. I always have.” And once those words left his lips we both closed the distance between us and our lips met.
Suddenly a bird’s crow brought me out of my sweet dream and back to reality. The reality that he was gone. No longer here. I scowled at this thought and ran the rest of the way to the oak tree dodging the rocks and other objects that lay upon the path.
I knelt down underneath the tree once I reached it and let whatever tears I had left come, without any intentions of stopping them.
I brought my eyes up to the sky where I knew he was at…silently watching me. “Why?!” I screamed at no one yet everything around me. “Why did you leave me?! You know I need you! Come back! Come back to me, please.” My sobbing grew more intense as I no longer had the strength to hold myself up and I collapsed to the ground silently questioning what purpose there was in my life without him.
When my head hit the ground it knocked the flower from my hair. It now sat there blurred in my vision, its scent slowly coming to my nose. And with that scent came a noise. But not just any noise. A voice. Dustin’s voice.
I sat up, straining to hear his voice more clearly. I closed my eyes as I sat there and soon it felt as if someone had wrapped his arms tightly around me, wiping my tears away. And as I believed it was him I was able to hear him.
“Mandy…I love you. I may be gone from your world, but I will always remain with you. Don’t forget that. There’s still a lot of your life left, don’t spend it mourning for me. I’m sure you can find someone if you looked. Just don’t forget…I’m still here.”
As his voice faded from my ear I opened my eyes and stood up. Dustin was right. I still had my life to live. Just because his was over…didn’t mean mine was as well.
I picked up my flower and turned away from the oak tree and my past…and towards a new future.

:headache:

_________________
Dance water dance
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Shinji

avatar

Male Number of posts : 179
Age : 23
Location : Besaid
Registration date : 2009-02-19

Character sheet
Name:: Shingi
Age:: 18
Side:: ??????

PostSubject: Re: this is another story i wrote this one is finished......i love it...and would appreiciate any kind of feed back! please...   Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:33 pm

very good.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://acresort.freeforums.org/
Demyx
Nobody
Nobody
avatar

Female Number of posts : 66
Age : 26
Location : the world that never was
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Character sheet
Name:: Demyx
Age::
Side:: orginization 13

PostSubject: Re: this is another story i wrote this one is finished......i love it...and would appreiciate any kind of feed back! please...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:02 pm

thank you. im very glad you liked it.

_________________
Dance water dance
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: this is another story i wrote this one is finished......i love it...and would appreiciate any kind of feed back! please...   

Back to top Go down
 
this is another story i wrote this one is finished......i love it...and would appreiciate any kind of feed back! please...
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Toy Story LEGO + MATTEL WWE
» Thinkaway's "Collectors" Toy Story Figures
» Deceit Logic {Story by Madoka}
» WTB: Toy Story Collection Bullseye (Thinkway)
» Gizzy's Story

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Rising Dawn :: Out of Context :: Creativity-
Jump to: