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 A midnight Stroll

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Roxas
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Age : 27
Location : Twilight Town
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Name:: Roxas
Age:: 15
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: A midnight Stroll   Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:24 am

Roxas quietly crept out of the house, barefoot and wearing his favorite pajamas. He was in Destiny Islands on vacation again, visiting his cousin Sora and the rest of his family. So far, Roxas had been having a good time, but Roxas couldn't help miss Twilight Town and the expansion of the city -- still, there was something calming about being around the ocean. Roxas, Hayner and their friends always had a good time when they went to the beach, but Roxas wanted to try something new. He made his way to the beach and sat down, looking at the ocean. The moon's light reflected off the water and made it bright enough to see all around but still concealed the night. Roxas thought a little bit about the strange similarities between him and the night; everyone said that Roxas and Sora had so much in common as far as looks and standards go, but Roxas didn't feel like he could match up to Sora very well. Sora was as bright as the sun, and Roxas was the moon. His light wasn't his own; it was Sora's.

As Roxas breathed in happily, drawing in the salty air, he heard a pair of footsteps behind him. Half-expecting Sora, he turned around with a smile, only to be surprised as Riku sat down beside him, giving him a small smile but otherwise his attention was focused on the water and the atmosphere, just like Roxas. "You like sitting out here too?" asked Riku, his eyes glowing from the moon's light. Roxas looked out at the water, nodding. "I never came outside at night before... it's different than in the morning or afternoon... you know?" Roxas ran his fingers through his hair. He never felt fully at ease around Riku.

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Riku
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Age : 27
Location : Oblivion
Registration date : 2008-06-02

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Name:: Riku
Age:: 16
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:32 am

[-sorry its not as long-]

"Yes I do." Riku agreed with a light smile turning his attention fully on Roxas. "Thats why I like it.....out here at night. Its comforting to be rapped in a blanket of calm and darkness." He stated staring off at a point behind Roxas as if he was remembering something. He realized what he'd said must sound odd or even funny to Roxas but he didn't care, thats how he truly felt. The island at night was his sanctuary where he could go to think and be alone with his thoughts. It was also a place to relax and remember. Riku would often times sit on the soft sand staring out across the oceans surface and recall that time not long ago when he and Sora had done the same but on the other side in the realm of Darkness.

He sighed softly without meaning to then seemed to realize he'd spaced out once more in his own thoughts and ignored Roxas. He blinked lightly, clearing the thought and feeling that went with it from his mind as he offered Roxas an apologetic smile "I'm..not intruding am I?" He asked, as it occurred to him that Roxas might want to be alone. Truthfully he'd been surprised to arrive at his usual spot on the island and find Roxas there. No one usually came out to the Island at night save him and Sora at times when he asked him.

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"And I remember everything, Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn't enough.
All the words I said and all you forgave. How could I hurt you again?"
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Roxas
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Male Number of posts : 162
Age : 27
Location : Twilight Town
Registration date : 2008-06-06

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Name:: Roxas
Age:: 15
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:48 am

Roxas had been trying to hide it, but as Riku spaced out Roxas had been focusing on Riku. Roxas himself had always felt like he was a prisoner inside his mind, but Riku seemed to be so... free. Why couldn't Roxas be like that? All he ever thought about was how much he should be, what he wasn't, and why people didn't like him so much. And yet he hated it when people called him "emo". Was it really his fault? If asked to describe himself, Roxas' mouth would happen but his brain would come to a sudden stop, and there would be nothing. Roxas had no idea who he was, and he didn't know why Hayner and his friend thought he was such a great guy, but yet, Roxas wasn't low enough to walk away and live alone. He needed his friends.

Roxas wouldn't have been surprised in Riku stood up and sprouted wings and flew up into the sky. He could see Sora cheerfully take off himself, but when Roxas jumped he fell back down into the sand, and sat up on his knees as he watched them leave without him --

"I'm not intruding, am I?" Roxas tensed up for a second, then remembered that Riku was still siting beside him. He let out a small sigh, but grinned. "No, you're not bothering me. It's fine." Riku's apologetic smile vanished and was replaced with something that Roxas couldn't put his finger on. Roxas ran his tongue against his teeth; Riku probably figured out that Roxas was upset about something, but Roxas didn't know what Riku would say if he told him about it.

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Riku
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Age : 27
Location : Oblivion
Registration date : 2008-06-02

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Name:: Riku
Age:: 16
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:59 am

Riku heard Roxas sigh before he masked it with that smile he usually wore. Riku had noticed at times when he observed Roxas that he didn't seem truly happy and he was only acting so to not be left out by his friends who always seemed to be in that state of happiness. Roxas in more ways than one reminded Riku of how he used to be several times before he'd opened the door to darkness and caused that whole mess to the island. This bothered Riku since he knew how it felt. It wasn't a good place to be and often times led that person to be rash and do things that later on in life they'd regret. I still regret....He thought closing his eyes for a moment to hide the regret and sadness he knew would probably leak through the mask he tried to hide it behind.

He pulled one leg up so he could prop his arm against it as he studied Roxas. This was a position he usually sat in. it just was relaxing and felt right to him "Roxas...whats wrong?" he asked hoping Roxas wouldn't run away and retreat deep into himself where Riku wouldn't be able to follow. That wouldn't help him at all. It would only make things worse. He knew Roxas was and always had been uneasey around him which confused him but now he hoped Roxas would get past that and open up

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"And I remember everything, Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn't enough.
All the words I said and all you forgave. How could I hurt you again?"
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Roxas
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Male Number of posts : 162
Age : 27
Location : Twilight Town
Registration date : 2008-06-06

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Name:: Roxas
Age:: 15
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:18 pm

A rush of nervousness came over Roxas, and he wanted to jump up and run away, but Roxas told himself that Riku wasn't just anybody... Sora might not completely understand the feeling, but Riku had been there, and Riku was possibly the only person Roxas knew that could understand. Roxas then realized why everyone thought Riku was so wise. His eyes weren't those of a typically teen, but of those who'd seen the Darkness of life and lived through it. He'd see it, but it wasn't a part of him anymore.

"I'm... I'm not really sure..." Roxas began. His head was swimming with thoughts, too fast for him to grip. His blood was pumping fast again, and he tried his best to talk, though he wasn't sure of what to say. When was the last time anyone had confronted him like this? "It's just... I... I'm not like Sora.." Sora. Sora. Sora. Roxas always compared himself to Sora. But Sora wasn't perfect... but he's still better than me, thought Roxas. "Whenever Sora's sad, everyone knows it. He can tell anyone how he feels, and he's always happy, no matter what. I'm... jeez, I dunno. I just never feel happy about anything. I never felt like I fit in -- " He swallowed down hard. He had never told anyone this. "Everyone fits in somewhere. Everyone loves Sora but I -- I'm not like that. I'm always alone, always on the outside looking in. Being in the organization made me feel like I was a part of something, but I was the youngest and all the older members looked down on me... they... they even babysat me!" He grit his teeth, closing his eyes momentarily, then opened them up again. "A child, that's what I was to them. I'm too old to fit in with my friends, too young to be an adult. I just don't belong anywhere." He looked at Riku to see his expression. Riku was serene, but he could see that Riku looked genuine concerned. He wondered what Riku would have to say about everything he had just blurted out.

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Riku
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Name:: Riku
Age:: 16
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:01 pm

[-lol I'm not sure if this makes sense.I was trying to make it touching and some what deep but I'm not so sure it worked...-]

Riku took in a slow breath as he remained silent for the moment allowing what Roxas had told him to sink in. He felt it deeply what Roxas was expressing, what he was feeling deep within. He'd gone through these emotions himself, and they'd all centered mostly around Sora nd his own ability to accept himself as he was. "I.....I was like that once. Always comparing myself to Sora." Riku began, turning his gaze back across the water as he stared at the moon's wavering reflection. He remained silent for a moment as if contemplating his next words "I was jealous of him" He thought back to his own conversation with Sora where he'd admitted the same thing. A light, almost sad smile touched his lips as he looked down, running a hand through his hair. This was often a sign of his frustration or unease that he hadn't even realized he did till Sora had pointed it out to him "I was friends with Sora and Kairi, we were relatively close but I always felt like the third person, the tag along. Sora and Kairi seemed to have something special, something I couldn't share in and that frustrated me to no end." Here he paused, staring hard at the thousands of tiny grains of sand.

He wasn't sure if saying any of this was helping Roxas and even more unsure why he was saying it himself. He'd told Sora some of this but not all. He didn't want to burden his friend with worrying about him and his emotional state. Than...why Roxas? he thought, letting the silence drag on. The thought interested him, pulling him in. Indeed why tell Roxas and not Sora or Kairi? Riku found that he didn't need to search for the answer because his heart already knew. Roxas could handle it in ways Sora or Kairi couldn't. He more than anyone, Riku began to realize strongly, knew the struggle of fighting inner darkness that always threatened to drag him down. It always was present, waiting, watching for a moment to strike.

"Even when Sora came looking for Kairi and me I refused at first to believe he was even looking for me. he had new friends and only seemed concerned with finding Kairi. I grew bitter and thats what led me to be trapped in the darkness. I realized I was wrong and wanted more than anything to make it right and return with him to the light. However after we closed the door to light I grew confused. I didn't fit in with the light like Kairi or Sora. And I didn't belong to darkness...." he said finally looking up as he focused Roxas with a level look, his aqua eyes calm on the surface but an intense fire glowed within them. "I didn't belong anywhere. I was a misfit. A deserter of the light and a cast away from the darkness." Riku shifted his gaze off to the side for a moment allowing himself to gather his thoughts which at this point had begun to rage within him as he brought up those painful memories and emotions he 'd tried to stomp out and forget. That was before he'd realized that talking about them, even though it was painful at first was helpful and affective.

It was as if heavy burden that had been weighing him down had been lifted off him when he spoke about it, rather then growing heavier and heavier as he kept it all bottled up inside. "Thats when I realized with help from a close friend that I don't have to feel lost and left out. Because I belonged somewhere. It may not have been in the light or darkness but in between and as long as Ii was needed and sought by others I would always have a place to belong." He said focusing on Roxas once more rather than looking off to the side. He sat up straighter, leaning in towards Roxas "You may not feel that you belong anywhere...Roxas. But you do. Just as your friends and loved ones have a place in here." he said pointing towards the place on Roxas's chest where his heart was, a smile evident "You have a place in all their hearts as well and even if they were to forget their hearts wouldn't. You'll always belong." He sat back, letting his hand drop back to its resting position on his knee. He suddenly felt embarrassed for going on and on at Roxas and wasn't even sure if he'd managed to make the blond boy feel any better. He fell silent, contemplating whether he should say any more or remain silent as he stared once more at the water, watching the gently movement of the waves

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"And I remember everything, Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn't enough.
All the words I said and all you forgave. How could I hurt you again?"
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Sora
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Age : 26
Location : Destiny Islands/Everywhere
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Name:: Sora
Age:: 15
Side:: Light

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:38 pm

Once you guys work out your problems ill join in Wink

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Roxas
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Location : Twilight Town
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Name:: Roxas
Age:: 15
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Sun Nov 02, 2008 6:12 pm

His eyes swelled with tears, and instantly he felt his throat constrict, but Roxas was scared. Riku had finally confirmed everything that Roxas felt inside, but Roxas felt a wave of overwhelming serge overcome him than relief. Everything Roxas held inside was all laid out, between him and Riku. Roxas' heart was brewing a storm. But it was too late; he couldn't warn Riku about his explosive emotions. Roxas never felt so naked or exposed. He never discussed how he felt in front of others. No one had ever stepped that far and reached that far inside him. It was relieving, but it was nerve-racking, and Roxas' heart had been sowed instead of heal, trying his hardest to pretend that he was alright and happy-go-lucky in front of his friends. The seams had been cut, and Roxas stood up defensively, backing away from Riku but staying close by him.

"NO! SHUT UP!! YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?!" Roxas cried, everything spilled out, his perfect mask laying waste on the ground as the real Roxas stepped out of his shell. "YOU DON'T U-UNDERSTAND, YOU IDIOT!!!" His body shook, and Roxas felt like he was standing outside in the middle of an earth-quake, but he couldn't stop. "I DON'T BELONG ANYWHERE!!! NOT A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E. Just ask those stupid at school!! They'll tell you!! They'll tell you that Roxas is a good-for-nothing loser, lover of the shadows, cousin of one of the great people who ever lived but too... too weak to get anywhere!!" He turned his face away. "DID YOU KNOW MY FATHER IS ASHAMED TO EVEN HAVE ME AS HIS SON?! WHY??? Because I'm not as great as Sora, and not as loving!! The only thing I got going for me is my intelligence, and even still people HATE me for that!!" Riku stood up, standing in front of Roxas. Roxas felt small beside the older teen, but he wouldn't let that show. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Roxas shouted suddenly, ramming into Riku to push him back. Riku stumbled backwards, but he regained his balanced and backed up a couple steps. Roxas hiccuped, and he shoved Riku back again, but no matter what Roxas did Riku would not attack back. Roxas moved his arm back and swung, hitting Riku in the eye.

"LEAVE. ME. ALONE!!" Roxas sobbed. Seizing him by the shoulders, Riku was able to make Roxas stop attacking him. Roxas looked Riku in the eyes, then the tears he contained streamed out, and Roxas could do nothing but standing there and cry, clenching his fist and sobbing. "I-I'm n-no-bb-body...j-just a n-no-bb-body...!!" Roxas blubbered, unable to speak without a tremble in his voice. Roxas shut his eyes closed tight and faced the ground. After all this time of careful concealing, how did Roxas break so easily in front of Riku? Roxas used to fear him, but he hated him, hated him for breaking him apart so easily and setting Roxas off, and yet... Riku was so... compassionate towards him. Roxas felt his entire body turn ice-cold as he felt Riku slip his arms around Roxas and embrace him.

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Riku
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Name:: Riku
Age:: 16
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:27 am

They remained this way for what seemed like a long time, Riku just holding him and allowing him to sob. “Roxas..” Riku said his tone soft and low. He could feel the other boy’s stiffness at the hug but choose to ignore it, holding him close. He knew Roxas was going through a roller coaster of emotions. Riku had purposely stepped across Roxas’s carefully built walls and defenses and pulled them away bit by bit exposing the vulnerable, hurt boy beneath the surface. He wouldn’t be surprised if Roxas hated him and certainly wasn’t when Roxas had tried to hurt him. He would take anything Roxas threw at him without complaint, hoping that he would eventually calm down.

A soft hiccup from Roxas pulled Riku out of his mental pondering as he rubbed soothing circles on the other’s back “Roxas…” He said again, bitting his lip lightly as he prepared to say what he had to next. “You can deny it as much as you like….but that doesn’t change that fact that it’s true.” Riku looked down at the shorter boy’s head. It seemed to him that Roxas had relaxed but he wasn't sure if that was because he wanted it to be true or because he really had. "You're needed..and you're wanted." He said loosening his hug lightly in case Roxas was getting uncomfortable "and you're certainly no more of a nobody than I am." He told him. He knew Roxas had been through so much, emotionally and mentally and he wondered at how he could keep it all bottled up inside. The fact that Roxas felt alone, and out casted even by his own family bothered Riku. Roxas had family, so that family should appreciate him for who he was not disregard for who he wasn't

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"And I remember everything, Everything I loved,
I gave it away like it wasn't enough.
All the words I said and all you forgave. How could I hurt you again?"
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Roxas
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Male Number of posts : 162
Age : 27
Location : Twilight Town
Registration date : 2008-06-06

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Name:: Roxas
Age:: 15
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:53 pm

There had never been anything like it. Ever.

Had anyone gotten that close to the boy who was called, "cold, heartless, nobody"? Certainly not, as far as Roxas could remember. Roxas never meant any of it. No. Sure, he'd been cruel to others and purposely made sure they didn't try to reach out, but that was only because no one did, and Roxas wasn't like other people. If you withdrew your hand he felt that emptiness just as much as anyone else, but out of that fear and sadness he thrusted his sword into you and made you feel that pain so you wouldn't re-approach him again. You mess up once, you lost his respect.

If you hurt Sora, Sora cries. If you hurt Roxas, he hurts you, but he cries just as hard on the inside.

He wanted to believe Riku. He did. But he also couldn't believe Riku. Well, he believed him more than anyone else, because there was no one else nearly as qualified as Riku. Anyone can say they had been through what Roxas had been through but you didn't see it in their eyes. That's what made Roxas look away from Riku. He could see everything in his eyes; he could see the happiness, but moreover the pain and the emptiness, though Roxas had not seen that in a while.

Riku understood. Riku was the only one who understood.

Roxas opened his mouth, and another hiccup came out, making Riku chuckle. Roxas could feel Riku's chest rumble when he chuckled, and somehow it calmed him down. He opened his mouth again, but didn't let the words form for Riku to hear. It was like gaining the strength to go to the top diving board at the pool, but all Roxas could do now was stare down at the water. He leaned forward, getting ready to embrace the impact when his mind pulled him back and he took a step back, his nerves unable to actually jump. More than anything Roxas hated that feeling. He breathed in softly, and then decided to speak.

"I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes, leaning against Riku more. Though Roxas never felt more free with his emotions, in a way, this was the lowest of lows. The Roxas before would have never uttered those words and meant them fully. He would have never gave up fighting. Uttering "I'm sorry" was the ultimate sign of defeat. A defeated he never tasted, though it was not as bitter as he thought it would be. Give up fighting? But was what he fighting now? Himself? ... Hadn't he been doing that the entire time?

"I-I'm sorry," he mumbled again. "I fought you for so long... and you never cared. I'm sorry I didn't say... thank you for that."

Roxas pulled away, his bangs failing to full drape over his eyes and Riku could see that his eyes were not as blue as they should be, and that there were tears running down his cheek that had never been there before, and that Roxas looked a hundred times weaker than he had ever looked, but at the same time, Riku could see a speck of light in Roxas' eyes that had never been there, not even when Roxas had pretended to be happy. Roxas was nowhere near out of the darkness pit that Riku had found him in, but at least Roxas could see the light at the top.

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Roxy
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Age : 23
Location : The World That Never Was (YES >:3)
Registration date : 2008-12-26

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Name:: Roxas
Age:: 15
Side:: Uh...Light? O.o

PostSubject: The attention Span of A Squirrel   Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:28 pm

That was really good! On both of your behalfs! \(^w^)/ I actually read through the whole thing which is kinda big since I hae the attention span of a Squirrel, I swear ¬_¬

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Roxas
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Age : 27
Location : Twilight Town
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Name:: Roxas
Age:: 15
Side:: Twilight

PostSubject: Re: A midnight Stroll   Sun May 10, 2009 7:49 pm

A firefly flew past Riku, floating aimlessly in the air and past Roxas' eyes. With a simply lift of his hand, Riku brushed Roxas' bangs again and looked him in the eyes. Nervously, Roxas brought his gaze up to Riku's, fearing the worst.

Riku never judged anyone carelessly.

"You remind me of myself, sometimes..." he hummed. Roxas thought "hummed" was a good way of describing the way Riku spoke to him, because his voice was luminous and flowing easily through the night air, but at the same time there was a certain tone to it. Not regret. Probably more thoughtfulness. It flattered Roxas. "When I keep things to myself, it's because I'm afraid that I'll disappoint Sora. He thinks I'm the strong one, you know..." Roxas nods politely. Then Riku knows he shouldn't go on this way. "Did you know that I used to be jealous of you?" he asked the now surprise Roxas, who looked a mixture of confused, curious, and doubtful. "Your writing." There was a smile on Riku's face. "Sora once showed me something you wrote for English, and I couldn't believe it. It was probably one of the most frank, well-written essays I'd ever read." With a glance at the sky, Riku recalled all the details. Roxas still couldn't find anything appropriate to say so he said nothing. He knew Riku wouldn't mind. Listening to Riku's serene, excited voice calmed Roxas down somehow; the blonde had never imagined that Riku could ever be impressed with something he wrote when he was only twelve.

"You wrote it when you were twelve, which made it even more unbelievable to me," Riku went on, almost as though he had read Roxas' mind for a moment. "When I was twelve, I used all my time in class to come up with a new prank to pull on Sora, not to actually listen or devote my focus to work." Every trace of guilt and shame that Roxas had been feeling had been replaced; Roxas wasn't sure how to feel. Riku really thought he was good?

"I love the way you write," he heard Riku tell him as Roxas stood up to stretch for a moment. Roxas pondered this. "Actually," Roxas admitted, "that's a first. Other than Sora, of course. But Sora thinks -- "

"-- that you're better than him at everything?" The two of them exchanged looks and felt the same wave of awkwardness and relief rush through. He nodded his head. "Yeah," he replied, smiling only in spite of himself. "I guess we're both in the same boat here."

"Speaking of which -- or at least Sora." Riku dusted the sand off himself, flexing his arms as he stretched his muscles. "Maybe we should head back inside. Sora might be up in a while. But Roxas?"

There is always something else
, Roxas sighed to himself, as he looked at Riku again. His face looked worried. That look, Roxas knew, without having to ask. It was a pleading look. "Tell me if you're upset or something's wrong. Heck Sora, tell me anything that's on your mind. I don't want you fighting this on your own. And... I like having you to talk to. We both admire the other from afar... it's time something was done about that."


[Wow! It's really funny to see how much has changed since I came on this site! I somehow feel like my writing is completely different now than it used to be. Well, hopefully we can continue this thread, Riku, if you're up for it.]

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